jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
