she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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