I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
