It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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