Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
