if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize