I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your penis caused this!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
