Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize