We're facebook friends in real life
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize