I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
