god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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