you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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