I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize