see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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