Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
