Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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