I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
