so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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