dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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