ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
