VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
