mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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