I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
