Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
