It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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