and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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