I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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