there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
