She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you had me at cake vodka
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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