how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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