Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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