it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
