I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
