On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
50% drunk capacity currently
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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