but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
