Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
