I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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