Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
