i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
