real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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