are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
