I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
