Buhtt sex?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
