U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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