Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
