I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
