I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
