think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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