I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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