Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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