I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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