dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
