Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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