whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
