i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize