I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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