Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
