You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
