When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
