Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
