Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
