Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
