come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he thought i was a dude.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize