Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I could make wine with my vomit
My cat gives me a boner
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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