he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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