Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
