worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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