I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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