hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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