I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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