so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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