maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
