1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
