There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
