remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
