My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
