Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
